I just spent my Sunday morning watching an old Louie Giglio message on God’s story and how we participate in it by our decisions. In his message, he talked a lot about following the Lord’s guidance. On paper it seems so simple, but at times it tends to get a little tricky doesn’t it? There are so many factors that hinder our ability, and even our desire, to hear clearly! Personal bias, frustrations, what we want or even our own goals for our lives all clamor for our loyalty and distract us from what God is trying to do in and through us.
You know, when I signed up to move to Papua New Guinea, no one ever told me what I was getting myself into. While I knew it was worlds away from being glamorous, I haven’t truly felt clean and “put together” since I boarded the plane in Australia on my way back here. No one told me that I’d feel sick most of the time (I’m feeling back to normal by the way!) No one taught me how to deal with death all of the time. Or that one day being a missionary and following God’s leading would mean driving up to a little bush camp on the side of a mountain with a dead baby in a chip box on my back seat.
Some days I think I can’t see much more that shocks me and then I end up smack in the middle of yet another situation where I want to cry my eyes out over what is normal here. And I usually do…but this time I wasn’t even able to control my emotions until I was alone. I was trying to give an update on our newest patient and explain how her baby had died to our new pilot and ended up breaking down in front of him and all of national staff. No one ever told me that being a missionary would mean crying a lot. I hate crying 🙂
And yet, all of this is God’s story…a story He’s asking me to be a part of. As I stay in His word, continue to seek His face and determine what He’s doing here, much of it doesn’t make sense to my logical mind. But it’s my choice to continue to join Him and allow Him to use my hands, my heart, my words and even my pain to show love to those who don’t yet know how much He loves them. Each day, it’s a choice. It’s a daily surrender to His plan, even if I don’t understand it. Yes, I have days where I want to leave it all behind, drive myself to the airport and catch the first flight out of here. Thankfully those days are few and far between now, but really, I have the freedom to do it. Nothing is stopping me. It’s only knowing that God brought me to Wewak to be a part of His crazy story here that keeps me going!
For months, God has been reminding of the simple truth found in Psalm 118:24…that today is the day He made and I can rejoice and rest in that. Just think…when God “makes” something, He makes it good. He sovereignly plans, intricately creates and lovingly administers our days. Every moment of it! Even during the tough ones, He’s loving us through it and inviting us to continuing stepping forward with Him and walking down the path of His story. More than anything I want to be one who never backed away from Him and what He was wanting to do. Yes, that’s taken me into some really uncomfortable places, but I’m learning that the more you love Him, the easier it is to follow wherever He goes.
In ministry news, I was able to go back into the village of Samban for a clinic dedication and then stayed to help with a 3 day clinic where we administered childhood vaccinations, tuberculosis screenings and other treatments, seeing over 600 patients from 8-9 villages. The nurse we worked with was able to diagnose 37 advanced TB cases and start them on life-saving treatment immediately. This Friday, I’m going back into the village for the third time to take a team of Australian midwives in for training. I’m loving the opportunity to get out to the bush more and grateful for the partnership and friendship I’ve developed with the missionaries in Samban. I’m also looking forward to being a part of the training and learning more about how to care for our patients!
Besides the trips, we’re busier than ever. The day to day needs for an organization like ours can get overwhelming…especially when there are only a few of us here. I’m praying hard that God will bring an individual that desires to be in a support role, so that I can truly focus on the things I’m passionate about.
We’ll be moving our office and one of the families into our new compound this month, but it’s looking like I’ll be staying where I’m at until my flat is ready. It still hasn’t been started…we’re definitely on island time here. Or should I say the construction guys are 🙂
Anyhow, I’m grateful for all of you and your continued emails, prayers, encouragement. It means the world to me. I hope you’re encouraged and chasing after God’s story. He’s in the little things too.
– upcoming trip to Samban
– wisdom as I navigate through new situations and the courage to keep going
– the plane was down for inspection and we’ve been waiting on parts. It’ll probably take at least another week, maybe more to fix it. During this time we’re still getting emergency calls which we can’t respond to.
– that I can find ways to enjoy my life in Wewak with the limitations of being a single, normally active, female!